With the enormous blessings of H.H Shri Mataji, this book is dedicated to my all beloved ones, whom I shall remain grateful for generating invincible moral foundation on which this inventiveness is based.
PREFACE
Happiness is dimensionless entity which requires unlimited domain to define its true existence. Superficial transformation of happiness is similar to a blind staring a beautiful object without appreciating its charisma.
The collection of ideas mentioned in this book in two parts is very close to reality and far from abstract assumptions. Part I deals with real life events and analysis which are considered prerequisites to stay SUNSHINE HAPPY. Part II talks about various aspects for complete transformation of life towards ULTIMATE ECSTASY.
In our day to day modern swift moving life we are dedicatedly influenced by multidimensional personalities, thereby try and adopt the benchmarked guidance and principles in our lives to such an extent that the individuality, originality and exclusivity of happiness becomes absconding in the CROWD OF UNKNOWNS. To encourage this very aspect of emergence of free thinking and sustainable originality of happiness amongst MASSES, the bouquet of articles and Stories enumerated in this book is a befitting concept designer based on the creativity and thought provoking ideas to generate happiness and fabricate a WINNER from COMMONS.
In this swift changing competitive world, smartest survives and sluggish lags behind just to become the part of an ever expanding crowd. To have an edge over others, it is rather essential to find an appropriate mentor to navigate you through the tempest and whirlwind of cut-throat competitiveness besides inner happiness.
The domain in which the book oscillates is limitless and very vibrant. The vision inculcated in the book’s creative framework may be considered appropriate to all age groups across the globe. However, emergence of tentacles of wide spectrum free thinking concepts may be considered companionable to levelheaded.
The creativity highlighted in the book is a driving force to overcome harsh and tough impedances of life to spread happiness. However, unperturbed free thinking has no equivalence and may be embraced to have a momentous, happy and meaningful life.
It has been a sincere endeavour of the author to appreciate the sensitivity of ideas, commensurate to pragmatic approach of real life, yet, mismatch in the concept designer thoughts, if any, will be rightfully addressed as deemed appropriate and will be truly appreciated.
ART OF WRITING “THE HAPPINESS UMBRELLA”
Definition
A blooming flower of words rightfully placed in a logically designed domain, having structured thought flow of pre-defined concept and conveys the appropriate, pre-conceived meaning thereby generating interest amongst the reader is the ART OF WRITING “THE HAPPINESS UMBRELLA”.
How to write creatively
To achieve a defined aim in the life, sound planning and dynamic implementation are the mandatory pre-requisites. Similarly, in order to have creative writing of “The Happiness Umbrella”, few aspects, as appended below are worth mentioning:-
· Solid Concept: Book written with a well thought concept always delivers the correct meaning to the reader, as intended by the author that is happiness.
· Thoughts clarity: Ambiguity and collision of thoughts results in transformation of articles and stories into a messy words assembly. Efforts should be made to achieve distinct clarity of ideas, resulting in metamorphosis of dynamic thoughts into a beautiful bouquet of words spreading happiness.
· Brevity: In the world of miniaturisation, compactness should not be confused with omission of certain characteristics. Brevity is pivotal towards encompassing overwhelming thoughts and concepts into a constraint framework without loss of meaningful values of happiness.
· Organised thought flow: Just as the staircase is mandatory to connect ground to the roof of the building, same analogy is required to be adopted while writing creatively “The Happiness Umbrella”. Structured thought flow is considered as an important shackle or connector, leading the book to its destined conclusion that is to disseminate happiness without deviating from the original concept.
· Create interest: The choice of appropriate concept, thought clarity and structured outflow of ideas are the wining ingredients of the creative writing. However, as we know that the mission is said to be rightfully accomplished if the designated goal is achieved, similarly this book emerges as a winner if it generates interest and happiness amongst the reader. The author, who is also a concept designer, must deserve a big round of applause if he succeeds in creating interest and happiness amongst the reader.
· Dynamic conclusion: Any concept which is able to tie all the loose ends established during the design stage, and sums up decisively is considered apt and termed as dynamically conclusive creative writing. All efforts have been made to dynamically conclude “The Happiness Umbrella”.
Conclusion
Dynamism of a language is characterized and appreciated by only those who have an unbiased inclination and undeterred flare for the language. The author builds up the castle of imagination with bricks of structured thoughts, clarity and concepts; reinforce with “dedicated words”; paints the walls with creativity of eye appealing and thought provoking interest; decisively and dynamically conclude the concept, only seeks appreciation and salutes the destined fortune. It doesn’t mean that any criticism will remain unaddressed. Appreciation dovetails criticism for a successful orientation of a true winner. It is thus the true and dedicated endeavour of the author to categorically highlight that “The allure of conquering a battle, looses its sheen if the opponents fails to fight back with full potential and galore. Such victory often transforms into a meager defeat of an individual in front of his superego, thereby generating unhappiness.”
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Any committed accomplishment entails the effort of many people and this concept is no different. From the core of my heart, I sincerely extend thanks to my children and especially to my wife, whose patience and support were instrumental in accomplishing this dream task. I thank my colleagues whose diligent effort made this publication possible and a true success.
Many articles and stories are the result of a collection from various sources such as newspapers, magazines, colleagues and internet, in last 15 years. Unfortunately, sources were not always noted or available; hence, it became impractical to provide an accurate acknowledgement.
Regardless of the source, I wish to express my sincere gratitude to those who may have contributed to this work even though anonymously. Every effort has been made to give credit where it is due for the material contained herein. If inadvertently we have omitted giving credit, future publications will give due credit to those that are brought to the author’s attention.
The author takes this opportunity to great fully acknowledges the PRIORITY PUBLICATIONS,
The Happiness Umbrella Unfolds
An Overview
Part I
Life gives option to stay happy
Set priorities in Life to stay happy
Learn to love yourself and keep up the Morale
Learn from mistakes and anger management
Filter out mundane events from life and keep in touch with friends
Define Contentment in life
Learn to Meditate
Honesty generates happiness
Part II
Love unconditionally
Confidence boost happiness quotient
Innocence is virtue
Respect elders and learn from their experiences
Pyscophancy and happiness
Earn Respect of everyone
Adopt free thinking
Magic words – Sorry and Thank you
Power of silence
Hello Therapy
Bounce back attitude.
Part I
Chapter 1
Life gives option to stay happy
A natural motivator
Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs, so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant. Why?
Because, Jerry was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him "I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. I always choose to be in a good mood.”
“Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it.”
“Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life."
"But it's not always that easy,” I protested.
"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. It's your choice how you live your life."
Several years later, I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business.
He left the back door of his restaurant open
And then???
In the morning, he was robbed by three armed men. They wanted money. While Jerry trying to open the safe box, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him.
Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.
I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied.
"Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared?” I asked?
Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room and I saw the expression on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.
In their eyes, I read ‘He's a dead man.’
I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything.”
'Yes,' I replied.
The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply.
I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!'
Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead'.
"Jerry lived; thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.
I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it. The only thing that is truly yours and that no one can control or take from you, is your Attitude,
So if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier. Life always gives options to choose from. Intelligent picks up appropriate option and live a king’s life. Whilst, confused fool keep dangling between options and makes everybody’s life miserable. It’s a Matter of Choice Always.
WHAT makes people like Jerry smile and stay sunshine happy, almost all the time? These optimists refuse to get buckled down by terrible news and extend the sounds of hilarity and expectation. People like Jerry are all around us, trying to give those who are in the grip of despondency and unending feeling of sulk, frown and sadness, a simple lesson in the pursuit of happiness.
There is whole lot of world trying to tell people how to be happy forever. Interestingly, the magnitude of books on happiness, which were published last year, has witness a logarithmic jump, compared to only quite few published over a decade. Almost every tenth university across the globe proposes classes on positive psychology and teaches happiness, thereby trying to put people under “The Happiness Umbrella” to remain forever happy.
Life always gives you options. Choose emotions and thoughts in such a manner that make you to stay evergreen happy and covers you with “The Happiness Umbrella”. Try to become an Icon of Happiness and chose to be happy whatever the circumstances maybe. Free yourself from past burdens, blunders and guilt.
So, do we need to be dependable on people or external circumstances for our inner happiness? “Certainly not at all”. I feel that most of the people pose to be happy if their materialistic desires are fulfilled. It is a variable happiness quotient which evaporates if a person suffers illness or experience heartbreak Thus it is no match to true happiness. The vast and unlimited happiness energy is independent of any external factors, and it has to come from deep within. There are people born with silver spoon in their mouth, who have everything they cherish and are still in the clutches of unhappiness.
In this tough competitive world there are still few people who always ride at perpetual happiness wave and have a happy vibe to them. It is rightfully mentioned that, “Temperament swing like a sinusoidal curve from gloom to happy for everyone. It is an inbuilt mechanism and cultivated art of brain in every one of us to remain absolutely happy all the times. It is always a matter of choice to be really happy in tough times and adverse situations. It’s a lesson I’ve learnt from Jerry, which I pass to all who wants to be happier in life.”
Thus, it has now become inescapable to analyse happiness in new dimension. In fact, optimism has become a misinterpreted synonym of happiness lately, believes Laurence Shorter, author of The Optimist: One Man’s Search for the Brighter Side of Life, “Optimism has nothing to do with the future, rather, it is a description of reality. The real definition of optimism was relevant in good and bad times; you just have to choose to be happy, despite what ever happens.”
Richard Branson or popular celluloid icon James bond reveals the secret that makes him happy. “I just live life to the full, never pay attention to failures. Every minute, whatever I’m doing, I enjoy by saying yes more than by saying no. I always have faith, that’s the way to open doors. I’m never bored or inundated by failures. That's why I'm always sunshine happy, and looking at new, adventurous things. Once you decide you’ll be happy, that’s what you’ll create in your life.”
An optimist churns out positivity and new opportunities from any situation, without explicitly defining them. Therefore, happiness is an individual judgmental aptitude. Robin Sharma agrees, “Don’t label situations as good or bad. When unhappiness confronts you, rather than running away, exercise the force of will to run through it. It’s not just in thought but in action too.” Says politician Jyotiraditya Scandia, “If you have to experiment with new ideas, you’ll experience setbacks. I don’t let it intimidate or overwhelm me. Have the will to be happy from inside.”
There’s no need to obsess about optimism though, just go easy. Happy behaviour should come instinctively, says Los Angeles-based yoga guru to Madonna, Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa, “The way to bring happiness, is to work honestly and to share. There has to be a sense of detachment from external situations.” Film director Gurinder Chadha says, “Life is short. We must learn to appreciate every single day — the good times as well as the sad times.”
Work on happiness as a skill to be developed. Says psychiatrist Avdesh Sharma, “Let happiness be a learnt reaction. You’ll have to work at being happy. But it’ll be rewarding and bring you real joy,”
And tell yourself every minute, “It’s in my power to be happy, no matter what!”
People like Jerry are present every where. Only you have to be slightly vigilant in identifying amongst the thick crowd of unknowns. And if you are able to spot your Jerry then don’t ever loose him under any circumstance as you may not be able to find another Jerry in this short life. Alternatively adopt the jerry like mentality and convert your self to an Ideal Jerry.
HOW TO BE SUNSHINE HAPPY
Don’t label situations as good or bad.
Empower yourself to be happy.
Look within for happiness.
Don’t get affected by bad news.
Choose your emotions. Keep saying, ‘I choose to be happy’.
Conserve your energy don’t let people sap it
If you’re hurt, don’t be dependent on anyone else to heal.
Don’t indulge in hurt.
Don’t be imprisoned in your past or have self-pity.
Chapter 2
Set priorities in Life to stay happy
Thousand Marbles
A few weeks ago, Philips was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and what began as a typical Saturday morning, turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time.
He turned on the old short-wave band radio that was once his Grandfather's and tried to see if it would pick anything. He came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. This guy was telling whoever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles".
Philips was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say. "Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet.
Too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital." He continued, “let me tell you something, Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities." And that's when he began to explain his theory of a thousand marbles.
"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years. Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900 which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime."
"Now stick with me Tom, I'm getting to the important part. It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail", he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays."
"I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round-up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container right here in the kitchen. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight. Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time."
"It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. Philips guesses he gave us all a lot to think about. Philips had planned to work on the yard that morning, and then was going to clean the garage. Instead, he went upstairs and woke his wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast." "What brought this on?" she asked with a smile.
"Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles."
MAY ALL YOUR SATURDAYS BE SPECIAL!
HAPPINESS is lost if priority are not set in Life. If the mundane things find higher place in the priority scale of one’s life than love and affection of near and dear, the life becomes a meager carriage of monotonous activities, set on the path of never-ending journey.
Philips learnt it the hard way. Still it is better to learn from one’s mistakes. As it is said rightly “Failures are the pillars to success.” Lesson learnt from somebody else’s mistakes and gainfully adopted in the future life to prevent recurrence is the story of a real life winner, in pursuit of true happiness.
It is not necessary to go all-out in pursuit of happiness as you may not find when you actually need it the most. The happiness should be generated from within and this will be imperishable throughout your life.
HOW TO SET PRIORITY IN LIFE FOR STAYING HAPPY
Make a list of all the activities of daily life.
Categorise the listed activities.
Against each activity mention the happiness quotient, i.e the amount of happiness you might gain while performing the activity.
List the activities in descending order of happiness quotient.
Implement in life without wasting even a millisecond.
Enjoy the gift of God i.e Life in true sense.
Chapter 3
Learn to love yourself and keep up the Morale
Cracked Pot
A water bearer in
After two years of what it perceived to be failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."
"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of"? "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load due to this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said. The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."
Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
The Donkey
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
MORAL: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
MORALE of a person is dependent on the degree of optimistic attitude and the surrounding stimulants, influencing his positivity. The uplifted morale is the measuring parameter of inner happiness. Needless to say that happier person’s characteristics are elevated morale, positive outlook and sustainable optimism. Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws, we each have, that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, for there's a lot of good out there. “To err is human and to learn from the error is intelligence and smartness.” Giving good wishes to yourself and for others acts like sunlight, filtering into the dark corners of their mind and lightening inner burden. “LOVE THY SELF IS A REAL ART OF LOVING OTHERS”.
HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF AND BOOST MORALE
Stop All Criticism - Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
Don't Scare Yourself - Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses) and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
Be Gentle and Kind and Patient. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
Be Kind to Your Mind - Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.
Raise Yourself. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
Support Yourself - Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
Be Loving to Your Negatives - Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.
Take Care of Your Body. Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn and exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
Mirror Work. Look into your eyes often. Express the growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them. At least once a day say, "I love you. I really love you!"
Do It Now! Don't wait until you get well, or lose the eight or get the new job or the new relationship. Begin now--do the best you can.
Chapter 4
Learn from mistakes and anger management
Innocent Love
While a man was washing his new car, his four years old son picked stone & scratched lines on the side of the car.
In anger, the man took the child's hand & hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench.
At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father, with painful eyes he asked 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
Man was so hurt and speechless. He went back to car and kicked it a lot of times.
Devastated by his own actions. Sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches, child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide.
Anger and Love have no limits; choose the later to have a beautiful & lovely life.
Marriage Saving Book
Monica married Herald this day. At the end of the wedding party, Monica's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook with Rs.1000 deposit amount.
Mother: 'Monica, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Herald. When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Monica shared this with Herald when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Herald after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Monica
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Monica got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Herald got promoted and so on...
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Monica talked to her Mother:
'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'
Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'
Monica thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home.
When she was home, she handed the passbook to Herald, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Herald gave the passbook back to Monica. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.
"When you fall, in any way,
Don't see the place where you fell, instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."
Value of Time
Son: "Daddy, may I ask you a question"
Daddy: "Yeah sure, what it is?"
Son: "Dad, how much do you make an hour"
Daddy: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"
Son: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
Daddy: "I make Rs. 500 an hour"
"Oh", the little boy replied, with his head down.
Looking up, he said, "Dad, may I please borrow Rs. 300?"
The father was furious, "if the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or other nonsense, then march yourself to your room and go to bed. Think why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior"
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
"May be there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs. 300 and he really didn't ask for money very often!"
The man went to the door of little boy's room and opened the door.
"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.
"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.
"I've been thinking may be I was too hard on you earlier", said the man, "It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the Rs.300 you asked for"
The little boy sat straight up, smiling "oh thank you dad!" He yelled.
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled some crippled up notes. The man, on seeing the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at his father.
"Why do you want money if you already had some?" the father grumbled.
"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.
"Daddy I have Rs. 500 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you"
MORAL OF THE STORY
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. "It takes a minute to have a crush an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone"
It started again
A man came home from an exhausting day at work, plopped down on the couch in front of the television, and told his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts!" The wife sighed and got him a beer. Ten minutes later, he said, "Get me another beer before it starts!"
She looked cross, but fetched another beer and slammed it down next to him. He finished that beer and a few minutes later said, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute!" The wife was furious. "Is that all you're going to do tonight! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV! You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore..."
The man sighed and said, "It's started."
THERE are very famous sayings that “True and innocent voice from heart can even rock the
HOW TO LEARN FROM MISTAKES AND MANAGE ANGER
Analyse yourself by introspection.
Learn to invite and accept criticism.
Don’t characterize yourself as bundle of flaws.
Guilt cultivates frustration and anger. Stop cursing yourself.
Surround yourself with true friends and natural motivators for attitude transformation.
Remember “Failures are pillars to success”. Keep moving ahead towards the goal.
Express love to children.
Chapter 5
Filter out mundane events from life and keep in touch with friends
Coffee with a Friend
One day a professor brought a jug, two balls of golf, some pebbles, sand enough to fill the jug full and two mugs full of Coffee to his class. He filled the jug with sand and asked his students to put in the golf balls without spilling the sand. They were not able to do this. Then he asked them to put in the pebbles in the jug without spilling the sand. The students could not yet do it. Then he asked them to put the coffee in the jug. They tried and succeeded the coffee got added to the jug making its way in between the sand.
Now the Professor emptied the jug and put the golf balls in it. Then he added pebbles and shook the jug a bit so that the pebbles settle down in the spaces. Then he added some fresh sand and kept shaking the jug whole of the sand got added. Now he brought two mugs full of coffee and added the coffee to the jug. The class was confused to see all this. Now the professor told the class:
1. The Jug depicts Life.
2. The Golf balls are the Most Important Things in our life.(Family, Values, Morals etc.)
3. The Pebbles are some little Important things like our job, bosses etc.
4. The Sand depicts the unimportant things like dressing, cleanliness in house etc.
Now he explained. If we keep filling (give importance to) our life with the non important things, we will face stress as the important and most important things will not fit in. And if we fill our life (give importance to) with important and most important things the non important things will also follow-in (if we wished so).
One student raised his hand asked - "What about coffee sir?"
"That was what I left for the end" said professor. "Whether we fill our life with Most Important things or with non important things, there is always a space for a coffee with a friend."
Friendship
A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one on the face.
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"
The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.
Moral of the story:
“LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE!!! They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Take the time to live! Do not value the THINGS you have in your life. But value WHO you have in your life! “Happiness is not something you find, it's something you create…"
LIFE is happier and beautiful if the unimportant and mundane events are given lowest priority. As depicted in the narration above, if the life is filled with only useless and unessential events than there will be no room left to accommodate meaningful things. If unnecessary events takes precedence over important and essential things than life will become dull, monotonous and robotic, without any charm and happiness. So our endeavour should be to filter out mundane things from life before they engulf the envelope of life. Another crucial aspect to remain happy is to always get connected with good friends. “A friend in need is a friend indeed” is evergreen truthful saying. A true friend plays an important role towards spreading happiness in the life.
The friendship day is celebrated all over the world on 03 Aug. On this occasion all the friends exchange the gift/ band as a token of their everlasting friendship in the years to come. As we all know that friends play a very important role in one’s life. The matter which can’t be shared with the parents, teachers, close family members etc can be shared amongst friends with ease and comfort. The guidance from a true friend is always considered as a crucial foundation in the person’s life.
There is always a stage in life when sharing values and thoughts with the friend becomes inevitable. The parents and teachers who are the mentor of wellbeing of the child during the transition phase towards teens, often plays a symbolic role of true friend. This is the age (teen) of “make or break” of the future of the child. The psychological and emotional uplift of the child during this turmoil phase of life can be well addresse4d by a dedicated teacher and a committed parent by becoming a true friend and mentor of child.
Let us all join hands and nourish the friendship to new sustainable heights. Be in touch with true friends with no conditionality attached. Let us respect teachers and parents as a true friends and mentor, without crossing the acceptable respective domains.
HOW TO FILTER OUT UNIMPORTANT THINGS FROM LIFE
Identify all the events affecting your life.
List important and useless thing in life.
Most important events should take highest precedence in life.
Useless events should be filtered out of life as early as possible.
Always be in the company of true friends for positive attitude.
Remember to call up a friend to share happiness and remorse.
Chapter 6
Define Contentment in life
The Wisdom in hot chocolate
A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were discussing their lives at a class reunion. They decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired, who was always an inspiration to them.
During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work, lives and relationships.
Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups. Some cups were porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite. He invited each to help themselves to the hot chocolate.
When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor shared his thoughts. “Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones.”
“While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves that is the source of your problems and stress.”
“The cup that you are drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.”
“What each of you really wanted was hot chocolate. You did not want the cup but you consciously went for the best cups.”
“And soon, you began to eye one another’s cups.”
“Now friends, please consider this . . .
“Life is the hot chocolate. Your job, money and position in society are the cups.”
“They are just tools to hold and contain life.”
“The cup you have does not define nor does it change the quality of life you are living.”
“Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us.”
Always remember this God brews the hot chocolate, He does not choose the cup.
The happiest people don't have the best of everything.
They just make the best of everything that they have!!
In the end professor said “Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly and leave the rest to God. Also remember that the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least. Enjoy your hot chocolate!!
THE way we look at the life is not exactly the real life. It is only the superficial layer of the mind which is controlling our senses with predefined limitations, thereby creating an illusion, which we are forced to believe it as life. If we analyse our mind, we will be surprised to notice that not even ten percent of our mind is utilised towards meeting daily requirements of our day to day life. That is to say, major portion of brain remains under utilised throughout our life. The art of utilization of this untapped power of our brain which gives you ultimate happiness and satisfaction is meditation in real sense.
It is not the race, nationality, colour of skin, financial assets and such other many millions of superficial trademarks that govern our lives in this mortal world. We accuse and scold each other in an attempt to gain a pseudo edge over other and to satisfy our EGO. But in the bargain we loose out most precious and sacred aspect of life that is peace and satisfaction. Let me give you an example technically/ scientifically. Any electronic, electrical, mechanical or biological device is supposed to be performing to its optimal efficiency if there is little or minimal element of heat dissipation involved. Though there are ways and means to put a heat sink in place to save the device from damage due to such dissipation, yet it cannot be ruled out completely (Theoretically yes but practically no). Thus the life of device/ gadget is completely dependent on this prime factor which always exists and is inversely proportional to each other.
Same way life of a human being (device) and Anger/ Fear/ Dissatisfaction (Heat dissipation) etc are inversely proportional to each other. The more you dissipate, the more you are susceptible to fast decay (and ultimately death which is a plain truth).
Thus, pointing finger on each other will not lead you any where. It will only make you more vulnerable to claws of death. Please answer me, can anyone conquer this ultimate reality that is death just because he / she is fairer than other or living in a developed country? Mind you no one is inferior to other. It is only the time, place and cause that govern and combination of all may lead us to the destiny.
Everyone has a subtle energy present inside. when we get connected ourselves to pervading cosmic power through meditation, we tend to overcome all our ills and egos thereby reach a state of mind/body/soul of immense happiness and peace, I was talking earlier.
Most of you might have guessed it correct. If not than I tell you it is Yoga. It is amalgamation of all existing religions and Gods and their preaching.
I love my country and am proud of the same very much as you all are for your respective countries. But have you understood yourself completely? If No, then please learn to live without heat dissipation and overcome the same by power resting inside you.
Let me tell you about an experienced Engineer looking for job as a second career. But after nearly thousand of applications and equal number of no from employers, he feels stronger and powerful and continues to do the same in months to come. He now really care for people, who are dissatisfied, frustrated and Egoist educated lot with superiority stigma attached to them as cancerous growth, which often get attracted to super magnet "death" faster than usual.
HOW TO DEFINE CONTENTMENT IN LIFE
Learn to respect your life and existence.
Appreciate the life as gift of GOD.
Gain mastery over your worldly needs, luxury and comforts as far as possible.
Spread happiness and cheer as much as you can.
Live simple, talk simple and be simple.
Don’t create complex boundary around you, so that you become invisible for the world.
Be approachable and honest in your deeds.
Chapter 7
Learn to Meditate
God does exist.
A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."
“Why do you say that?" asked the customer.
"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist.
Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine loving a God who would allow all of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and un-kept.
The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."
“How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."
"Exactly!”- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."
Trees in the wood
Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty." Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."
Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."
After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter" ... and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.
At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.
When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one", and he cut it down.
When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.
Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time. Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.
Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.
The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.
EINSTEIN, through his famous equation E=mc2 has proven that mass or matter and energy are completely interchangeable. Also quantum mechanics has suggested that the matter is present at various energy levels that are dependent on excitation parameters. Higher excitation parameters help the matter to overcome the forbidden energy gap in order to liberate energy, thereby attaining the higher energy level. This increases the entropy, which represents the excitability and chaos of the energised molecules that constitute matter.
On the other hand if matter is super cooled to absolute zero that is minus 273 degrees then its entropy decrease and matter attains zero-energy state or superconductivity. This zero-energy state is now known in physics as the Bose-Einstein condensate. In this state the entire mass behaves as if it were a single atom. It loses all its characteristics of shape, charge and polarisation. It probably reverts to a shapeless, attributeless phenomenon of de-evolution, reverting to just the potential to manifest as anything in superconducting state.
The human brain has approximately 100 billion neurons. Thought flows in our mind is a result of simultaneous activity of different neurons and are transformed into various biological changes mediated by the hormonal apparatus at the pituitary interfacing system. The complex interconnections that abound in the nervous system ensure that even a minor impulse or electrical variation rapidly spreads.
Due to hyperactivity and life style related disorder, some individuals inherit higher entropy levels and so find it difficult to put their mind at rest and are ‘distracted’ easily. They have fleeting thoughts and are very restless. The sensory organs serve as an important conduit to logarithmically enhance the entropy as they stimulate various neuronal circuits adding to the entropy. Continuous stimulation of the neural networks occurs during awaken state. Hence sleep is important to reduce these continuous excitation and sleep deprivation leads to fatigue of the neural networks.
Therefore, process of silencing the sensory organ inputs helps in meditation. When you are in meditation, there is reduced activity of neural system in the brain. As you perceive thoughtless awareness, the mind, which is an institution of thoughts, tend to deviate and scatter less, thereby increasing the synchronicity of a specific group of neurons and silencing unrelated neuronal activity. The neuronal firing decreases, both in amplitude and frequency. So would the propagation across various networks. In scientific parlance, meditation wanes the neuronal apparatus disorder or entropy, same as superconducting matter characterize near-zero levels entropy when approaches Absolute Zero.
In the awaken state, when an individual is in meditation, he willfully tries to reduce the nervous system entropy and perceives a state of calmness from within. As this progress further, the neurons start becoming immune to external excitation and just resonate in harmony by achieving a synchronous status, due to inner silence, states of bliss and happiness. Ultimately, neurons take no notice of any incoming sensory signal and thus neither modulate nor amplify it. This is presumably the final state of zero entropy, where all 100 billion neurons function in total integrated quantum consistency. The Bose-Einstein condensate equivalent of the neuronal system is what may be termed as Self-Realisation.
There is always a subtle form of primordial cosmic energy that resides in a dormant state in the sacrum bone. During, the state of awakening, this cosmic energy pierces various energy centre called plexus located along the spinal chord and manifests in an experience called Self-Realisation, described by Einstein, Maslow, Gandhi, Marcelle Senard, Kahlil Gibran and Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi.
HOW TO MEDITATE FOR GAINING INNER PEACE AND HAPPINESS
Art of meditation is silencing of cluttered thoughts creating imbalance in mind.
Relax your mind and body by allowing free thought flow related to daily routine. Don’t attempt to restrict the thought flow as it might escalate the brain activity.
Slowly and gradually divert your attention from outside world to your soul.
Practice inner silence by becoming thoughtless but aware of existence.
Talk to your soul with innocence and unconditional love.
Signal out a pure desire and appreciate the achievement with dedication and hard work.
Remember “Miracles do happen”.
Chapter 8
Honesty generates happiness
Honesty is everlasting
Long time ago there was a wealthy dishonest merchant named Richard. He was going on to meet his fellow colleagues overseas. He thought that he should better deposit his expensive jewels with someone thrust worthy. So he went to his friend Adam’s house and requested him to keep his belongings in the safe custody till he returns.
Adam told “Please, be rest assured. Your belongings will be safe with me till you return. Just keep every thing in a sack in the cupboard.” Richard did as directed and went light-minded to meet his distant colleagues.
Richard, on return, went to Adam’s house and asked for his belongings. Adam told “Please take the same from where you have kept” Richard got hold of his stuff and checked it for correctness.
To his utter surprise Richard discovered that his jewels have increased in numbers. So he asked Adam about it. Adam replied “Jewels were living harmoniously and might have produced children. That is why total number is more.
Richard went home happily thinking about his latest acquisition. He thought that it is excellent way to increase his wealth.
Thus Richard, succumbing to his greed went to Adam’s house again with an intention of depositing his expensive jewels. Adam, as usual told Richard to keep his stuff in the cupboard. Which, Richard did happily.
Few days later, when Richard returned and inquired about his belongings, he received the same usual answer from Adam. “Please take your stuff where you have kept.”
Richard took his stuff and rushed hurriedly to his house, without even speaking to Adam. On reaching his destination he opened his bag and started counting his jewels. He yelled “I have become richer. This Adam is a stupid fool.”
Richard decided to take an undue advantage of the stupidity of his friend Adam. In the lust for getting more jewels, greedy Richard went to Adam’s house again and deposited all his expensive jewelry with Adam.
Few days have past. Richard decided to go to Adam’s house to see the enhanced jewelry. But this time when Richard took his stuff out of the cupboard, he was taken aback to notice only one jewel in the bag.
Richard told Adam “I have kept my entire jewelry in your cupboard and now I found only one jewel. Where are the rest?”
Adam “I don’t know anything. You only kept it in the cupboard. But yesterday there was very much noise inside the cupboard. It appeared as if your jewels were fighting with each other. In the bargain the strongest jewel amongst others killed rest of all and buried them. After that I don’t know what happened next?”
Richard to Adam “It sounds really rubbish and absurd. Please confess that that you stole my jewels.”
Adam said “No, not at all.”
Richard “Tell me, how can jewels fight and get killed.”
Adam “Why not, if the jewels could breed, why can’t they fight amongst each other and get killed.”
Moral of the story: Greed trills but leads you nowhere. Honesty is the best policy.
“HONESTY is the best policy”, will always remain an evergreen quotation in books and to some extent in the real life. It is considered as a very difficult path to practice than to preach. From the nascent age till death, honesty and ethical values always dove-tail and inspire an individual to the utmost satisfaction of true life.
However, this very big, bloated, swanky phrase namely “honesty” is genuine adoption in real life of an individual or mere circumstantial compulsion which is forcibly molded onto an individual’s personality, thereby leaving with him no choice than to pose being honest.
It will be certainly inappropriate to brand everyone under this umbrella; yet significant number of individuals can be comfortably ushered in domain of “honesty by compulsion”.
Consider an individual, duty bound to work under technologically advanced framework with pre-defined delegation of responsibilities with strict hierarchical accountability, will be left with no choice but to move with the system characteristics. If the system levels comfortably on the throne of honesty and ethical values, everyone networked to this model will compulsorily adopt the system characteristics and pretends to be honest or in other words “honesty by consequential compulsion”. Under these circumstances the individual attributes becomes trivial and meaningless.
The real test of honesty comes into play when enough leverage is available to attribute mutation. It is indeed a Herculean task to convert a corrupt person into honest, under these circumstances. However, reversal of same can be achieved with 95 percent success rate. Remaining are either immune to attribute mutation or mad behind honesty ethos.
Transparency International index signifies the benchmark of honesty and brand countries according to the index. However, if the attributes governing the report of Transparency International takes into account the aspect under frame work of “honesty by compulsion”, the reports will indicate lopsided results, with severe brand changing of honest countries and inclusion of so-called corrupt countries into dream positions.
Lastly, the economical disparity of countries, also acts as an influential variable to brand honesty. A rich country, for example indulges in corrupt deals or deeds are viewed under the boundary conditions of expansion of commerce and is still a well accepted norm for the so-called regulators of honesty and ethics. However, the poor countries are viewed with realistic and narrow vision outlook, and very rarely qualify the brand honesty test.
Isn’t it hypocrisy and mockery of honesty? And still we all get carried away by irrelevant numbers and index. By branding a country as honest or corrupt will only confuse the real issue.
The true benchmark of honesty is thus honesty by choice and practice. Honesty in the blood, in the DNA of an individual, which remains unaltered by external circumstances, is the true guiding factor to brand a country as honest. Rest all superficial indicators are resultant of honesty by compulsion.
HOW TO BE HONEST
Honesty can’t be preached but definitely can be practiced.
Positive attitude governs honesty.
Try and attempt honest deeds. Be truthful to yourself at least.
Don’t look back while practicing honesty, as life lures you not to remain honest.
The path of honesty is an obstacle course; however the destination greets you with flowers of happiness and contentment.
Emerge as an honest winner with dignity.
Part II
Chapter 9
Love unconditionally
The Boy and the apple tree
A long time ago, there was a huge tree. It loved a little boy very much, the boy loved to come and play around it everyday. He climbed to the treetop, ate apples, take a nap under the shadow. He loved the tree, the tree was so happy!
Time went by....One day; the boy came back to the tree. The tree said "Come and play with me"
“I am no longer a kid; I don't play around a tree anymore." "I want toys. I need money to buy them."
Sorry, but I don't have money, but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you'll have money. The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The tree was happy and satisfied.
The boy never came back after picked the apples. The tree was sad.
One day, the boy who now turned into a man returned and the tree was excited. "Come and play with me" the tree said.
"I don't have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?"
"Sorry, but I don't have any house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house."
So the man cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the man never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad.
One hot summer day, the man returned and tree was delighted." come and play with me!" the tree said.
"I am getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?" said the man.
"Use my trunk to build your boat" the tree said," you will sail far away and be happy."
So the man cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a long time. The tree was happy, but it was not the truth.
Finally, the man returned after many years. "Sorry, my boy, but I don't have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you..." the tree said.
“No problem, I don't have any teeth to bite" the man replied. ...
“No more trunk for you to climb on"
“I am too old for that now" the man said.
“I really cannot give you anything... the only thing left is my dying roots" the tree said with tears.
“I do not need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years" the man replied.
“Good! Old tree roots are the best place to lean on and rest, come, sit down with me and rest."
The man sat down and tree was glad and smiled with tears...
Moral of the story:
Everybody has an apple trees in his life. And they are your parents!! Care them, as they always care for you.
The Cab Ride
So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'.
'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'could you drive through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.
'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.'
I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now' we drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up.
They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
'There are other passengers,' I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.
She held onto me tightly. 'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk.
What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?
What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
Moral of the story:
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
Happy Marriage
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever?
She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: "I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart"
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage. Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.
We teach some by what we say, we teach some more by what we do. But we teach most by what we are.
- Get Time to Do All the Mistakes on Your Own
Roses in Advance
Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose. And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows. The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door. The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.
Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say, "I love you even more this year, than last year on this day." "My love for you will always grow, with every passing year." She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day. Her loving husband did not know that he would pass away. He always liked to do things early, way before the time. Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase. Then she sat near the vase, beside the portrait of his smiling face. She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair. While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate. With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate. Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before, The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock. Then, she went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop. The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain, Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago," The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know." "The flowers you received today were paid for in advance." "Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance." "There is a standing order that I have on file down here and he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing that I think you should know, He wrote a special little card...he did these years ago."
"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here, That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year. " She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard. Her fingers started shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note. Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone, I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."
"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real. For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life. I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."
"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need. I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears. That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."
"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness, that we had together, and how both of us were blessed. I have always loved you and I know I always will. But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."
"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days. I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways. The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, when your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."
"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out. But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,
To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him, And place the roses where we are, together once again."
Chapter 10
Confidence boost happiness quotient
Story of a Dead Donkey
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night.
Kenny replied: 'Well then, just give me my money back.'
The farmer said: 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.
Kenny said: 'OK then, just unload the donkey.'
The farmer asked: 'What are you going do with him?'
Kenny: 'I'm going to raffle him off.' (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot -to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)
Farmer: 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Kenny: 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'
Kenny: 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.00.'
Farmer: 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Kenny: 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars.'
Kenny grew up and eventually became the CEO of the American Energy Company: Enron
Self confidence
A business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.
Suddenly an old man appeared before him. "I can see that something is troubling you," he said. After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you." He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time." Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come. The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world! "I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the un-cashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.
With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again. Exactly one year later, he returned to the park with the un- cashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared.
But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man. "I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you. He's always escaping from the rest home and telling people he's John D. Rockefeller." And she led the old man away by the arm.
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him. Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money, real or imagined, that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.
Courage and Commonsense
A not-so-old 'Retired Brigadier decides to go on a hunting safari in Gir Forest, taking with him for company his faithful, old Pomeranian named 'Snoopy'.
While roaming around the forest, the old Snoopy starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction, clearly to grab lunch. Old Snoopy thinks, 'Oh, no! I'm in deep trouble now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chewing on the bones with his back to the approaching big cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, old Snoopy exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he shrinks away into the trees. 'Whew!', says the leopard, 'That was close! That old Snoopy nearly had me!' Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but old Snoopy sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, old Snoopy sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, old Snoopy says... 'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!'
Morals of the story:
1. Don't mess with the old dogs -- Age and Skill will always overcome Youth and Treachery!
2. Bullshit and Brilliance only come with age and experience.
Chapter 11
Innocence is virtue
Smile Please
Little girl walked to and from school daily. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to the elementary school with complete dedication and devotion, in order to achieve wisdom.
As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunderstorm and lightning. The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened and get drenched as she walked home from school and she herself feared that the electrical storm might harm her child.
Following the roar of thunder, lightning, like a flaming word, would cut through the heart of sky, appearing as a flamboyant, sparkling and eye appealing yet deadly weapon.
Full of concern and in the grip of anxiety and expectancy, the mother quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school. As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up and smile. Another and another were to follow quickly and with each, the little girl would look at the streak of light and smile. The act of child’s innocence has also a deep meaning embedded inside, well beyond the imagination sphere of her mother.
When the mother's car drove up beside the child, she lowered the window and called to her, "What are you doing? Why do you keep stopping?" The child answered, "I am trying to look pretty, and God keeps taking my picture again and again". Am I looking perfect for the next snap, Mom?
And the Mom was speechless for a moment and embraced the child as if to engulf her in warmth of love and passion.
The Moral of the story is..........
"Face the storms that come your way and don't forget to SMILE ! "
Chapter 12
Respect elders and learn from their experiences
The Stud Rooster
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,
'OK old guy, time for you to retire.'
The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens.
Look what it has done to me.
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'
The young rooster says, 'beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over.'
The old rooster says, 'I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'
The young rooster laughs. 'You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.'
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch When he sees the roosters running by.
The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and –BOOM-
He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, 'Damn it.....Third gay rooster I bought this month.'
Moral of this Story. Don't mess with OLD GUYS - Age, skill, wisdom and little tricks up their sleeve always overcome youth and arrogance!
Farmer and the Mule
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head and killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.
So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said: 'Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement.'
'And what about the men?' the minister asked.
'They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.
The Duck & the Lawyer
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, 'I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it.'
The old farmer replied, 'This is my property, and you are not coming over here.'
The indignant lawyer said, 'I am one of the best trial attorneys in the
The old farmer smiled and said, 'Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in
The lawyer asked, 'What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?'
The Farmer replied, 'Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.'
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, 'Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn.'
The old farmer smiled and said, 'Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.'
I forgot your name
An elderly gent was invited to an old friends' home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names'
The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!'
PROFIT, gain, benefit etc, these are the words which finds a very prominent place in the dictionary of the material oriented mankind of modern era. Innocence of a person is tinted with materialistic impurities thereby giving a different meaning to human life and survival of the smartest.
In this diverse envelope of material and business, human values find the bottommost place, often invisible to the adulterated mind. And the fallout of the same is always painful and incurable when the wheel of time turns and put a person in the domain of graying age. The abrupt transition towards old age often comes with distinctive attributes, such as shear neglect, loneliness, discomfort, and lack of concern or love.
The senior citizens, or as they are branded, have to get accustomed to these omnipotent trademarks to have a smooth and complaint free residual life. “New are welcomed and old are thrown away rags” characterize the modern society.
However, like every cloud has a silver lining, this aspect also generates bliss amidst curse. For example grandparents are usually considered suitable for the job of babysitters for the glorified nuclear families, in which bitterness and business goes hands in gloves. This mutually agreeable arrangement of emotion and business bears results depicting win-win situation. In the bargain, the grandparents get a social security and a lively playing doll whilst the working parents feel satisfied that their children are supposedly in safe hands. In such concept, there is a very thin demarcation between a paid servant and caring grandparent. Over and above some grand parents are compensated for the babysitting time, as a part of stuck deal of business and emotion. In western world it is very prevalent.
In another example the pressure from the society and the peer group never allows parents to stay with the grown up adult child. The child has to find the way out for existence just like a bird’s life, who is often left to the mercy of cruel world when attains a grown up status. In such case we may say that the old aged person also needs space and privacy. We may call it by comfort or by compulsion. Thus loneliness and neglect is a part and parcel of fast moving modern society with old age at times is blessing in disguise or curse which are situation driven outcome of our great world.
Chapter 13
Pyscophancy and happiness
Speed Limit
Rex, a rich guy, loved fast cars and he did have a few in his possession.
He loved to speed and could not be bothered about breaking speed limits. Many a times he was caught by the cops and speed radars, fined, but still he never bothered until one day as he was driving at a very high speed as usual, he saw a cop following him. The cop overtook him finally and asked him to stop and checked his license. He then took out his pad and started writing and then handed over the sheet of paper to Rex.
How much was this one going to cost?!!! Wait a minute.
What was this???? Some kind of joke? Certainly not a ticket.
Rex began to read: "Dear Rex, Once upon a time I had a lovely daughter. She was six when killed by a car. You guessed it - a speeding driver's car. A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to hug his three daughters.
I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven, before I can ever hug her again.
A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it again, even now. Pray for me. And be careful, Rex, my son is all I have left."
Rex turned around in time to see the cop's car pull away and head down the road. He watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he too, pulled away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived.
Life is precious. Handle it with care.
LIFE is full of colours and a bouquet of wonderful things, if being looked with a positive and optimistic attitude. On the other hand the discoloration of life, fear, anger, anguish, frustration and stress prevails due to modern age complexities. The cascading effect of this is an attitude reversal which is a creator of fleeting Psycophancy.
In real life, Psycophancy embraces majority of people who are susceptible to lifestyle disorder arising due to modern age complexities such as meeting tight schedules, commitments, quenching super ego, personality issues etc. Less valuable time for oneself, more devoted to business framework thereby leading to money generation concept, minimum relief from accumulated stress due to incompatible work environment are some of the major attributes causing personality shift and leading to Psycophancy.
A person in the grip of road rage, bursting with anger due to altercation on the minor issues leading to unsatisfied ego, brutally murders another person and live rest of the life in guilt is nothing but fleeting Psycophancy, cultivated out of life style disorders causing attitude reversal.
A molestation of minor by a well educated person, who understands and appreciates the fallout of such heinous act of shame, is also a befitting example of attitude reversal which helps in building a Psycophant. The series of events behind making of fleeting Psycophant ought not to be ruled out altogether, but meaningful remedy is to be derived out of the same to prevent future breeding of Psycophant
Act of bullying at workplace, society or home, to prove the supremacy, in order to satisfy the super ego is also example of fleeting Psycophancy. If we see broadly, it is shocking discovery that majority of population are in the grip of fleeting Psycophancy, either to soothe the super ego or to satisfy an unquenched urge for recognition, rise and shine above all.
There is a need to build up the system and society in order to curb the growth of Psycophancy from our daily agenda. The lifestyle disorder emerging from modern age complexities needs to be addressed at all appropriate levels to curb Psycophancy.
A positive outlook and affirmative attitude towards dealing with the lingering problems in day to day life activities will result in sudden death of Psycophancy. Otherwise, this disturbing trend of thought paralysis and mutilate attitude will keep the fleeting Psycophancy alive with exponential spread.
Chapter 14
Earn Respect of everyone
IN this colourful world, comprising of beautiful creation of the almighty God, the cancerous outgrowth of colour discrimination is expanding exponentially in the western world. The raging monster namely “apartheid” is ready to engulf almost majority of human beings and is the most prominent social and cultural stigma of the society.
In the modern western society, the colour of skin is predominantly a major determinant of level of superiority of human beings, amongst the society. And to this effect, the deterioration of superiority is directly proportional to the magnitude of the skin shade. That is to say and believe that “Whites are bright and blacks are dark”.
The colour of skin is considered to be the universally accepted, unique factor to govern most of the socio-emotional judgments, in the day to day activities. The same is nothing but a curse on humanity in the modern world of hypocrisy and cynicism.
Whites are respected and blacks are neglected, still in the western culture. And this is prevalent in all walks of life in the western society.
The great leaders like Mr. Gandhi was also subjected to this colour discrimination, when he was not allowed to travel by train in first class, which was earmarked only for “the respected whites” in
But he never gave up and launched a mission against racism in
Rosa Parks, in another incident, refused to vacate the bus seat for a white, and was subjected to humiliation. But she also fought back and brought a “black civil revolution” in the society and was later called “Mother of black civil rights”. She moved million minds and earned lot of respect and fame in the world.
Law clearly amplifies the punishment against such racist abuses. In this close loop information technology, where assistance is just one phone call away, people refrain themselves from reporting such events. Moreover, how people dare to go above law and propagate the virus of racism/ discrimination.
It is our moral responsibility to educate and guide people to efficiently use the information technology to curb such shameful act of discrimination. Also, it must be told in plain and blunt words that nobody is above law and persons indulge in such acts will be taken to task and made a sample of others for strict adherence and total compliance of Law.
Another important example is the victory of Barack Hussain Obama as a successor to president Bus of United States of America. His win is a huge blow on the racist modern society. Though his victory statistics have shown a nervous attitude of whites in the voting pattern, yet his victory is considered as a well accepted fundamental right of a person who is only adjudged by his level of competence and inherent qualities and not by the shade of skin.
In the end, I would like to emphasize on only one aspect which needs to be addressed significantly in order to over come the hazardous growth of racism and that is the change of attitude/ mindset of everyone. The day we realize that shade of skin is immaterial and eradicate it completely from our orthodox domain, the world will become more colourful and homogenous harmonious.
The world is changing at a great pace. If technology can change so quickly, why can’t our attitude? Let us take pledge to make world free from racism and create a healthy and conducive environment with absolutely no place for apartheid and abhorrence. To achieve this, distinct vision and broadminded attitude are the required key ingredients to wipe out racism, lest this cancer will coolly propagate in future generations and we shall not be escaped from the blame of being inactive, ineffective and passive spectators of this dreaded dragon. The change is inevitable; let us join hands to be a proud part of the positive change of mindset and attitude towards removal of racism completely.
ANOTHER aspect to be looked into is issue of crossing border. Immigration is a worldly and time tested equilibrium of demand and supply matrix with deep rooted aberration of socio-economical inconsistency. The admittance and acceptance of immigrants as a contributor or a parasite on the society is always a hot debatable issue lingering in front of the political masters across the globe.
Immigration policy, thus, of a country is wholly dependable on the greedy outlook of political leadership, tilt to their advantage concerning the vote bank mandate and neglecting the core issues of immigrants per say. On the contrary, open or free immigration to a country with pre-defined parameters and skill sets are an outcome of the prejudiced political leadership, with an eye on the economic reform of the country.
The advancement in modern medical technologies have enhanced the survival age in developed nations. Supplement to it is reduced birth rate, due to social reforms, man-woman equality and self reliance, which have resulted in a skewed ratio of workforce versus pensioners. The statistics defines that in couple of decades the skewed ratio of young versus graying population of developed countries would be insufficient marker to meet the in-house economical and industrial demand of the country, thereby resulting in decline of the growth factor. In these circumstances an unbiased immigration policy without hidden riders would emerge as a saviour from the damaging consequences.
Globe, as a whole, works truly on the principle of “entropy (disorder)”. On one side the demand is created and on another side the supply is existent. The shortage of workforce in developed nations due to over economical prosperity, reduced birth rate, graying population and laid-back attitude to generate in-house expertise, have created a demand. On the other hand, in developing nations, shrinking resources due to population explosion, growing unemployment amongst young and skilled workforce, creates an abundance of workforce supply.
If this supply-demand matrix is judicially utilised towards mutual benefit amongst developed and developing nations, the equilibrium would result in win-win situation for all. However, this mathematically abstract model of equilibrium may work under constraints of socio-economical inconsistency. The skilled immigrant workforce is always considered outsiders and parasites on the society. The admittance and acceptance of this workforce requires an attitude reversal. Why an immigrant is considered a parasite on social economy, when it is evident that without them the developed nation will not sustain for long? They are not “eating” workforce as the gray dignified population, but they are contributors to the society at the much exploited framework. The bullying attitude of developed nations towards immigrant’s exploitation needs to be addressed at the apex level to avoid escalation of discontent. Otherwise, the skilled immigration should be completely banned at both the ends, till such time the mutual consensus is achieved.
The immigration is thus considered to be an inescapable issue, without which an irreparable imbalance will be generated in the world. The issue needs to be viewed with broad vision for arriving at a most amicable remedy, acceptable to all.
Chapter 15
Adopt free thinking
ABUNDANCE of information, available in the modern world has resulted in shrinkage of domain of new discoveries/ inventions. Though, knowledge sphere is very wide and unlimited, yet the probability of striking a new thought or idea becomes bleak with passage of time.
The ocean of information available through various media e.g. internet, books, knowledge sharing platforms etc are so vast that free thinking is reduced to meager search and locate the existing information in shortest allowable timeframe.
In this scenario, free thinking and plagiarism can’t be justifiably demarcated. The idea emerging from one mind has the highest probability of existence somewhere else. Thus plagiarism in literally sense is idea hijacking. It could be knowingly or inadvertently. That is to say, the willful stealing of idea or copyrighted material is plagiarism. However, inadvertent duplicity of thought or idea also falls under purview of plagiarism.
Even Charles Darwin, father of theory of evolution was also branded as victim of plagiarism, centuries after his revolutionary theory of evolution. He does not exist to answer the queries related to his theory and plagiarism.
It is evident that the domain of plagiarism is increasing at the same pace as the enlarging sphere of information. However, original and free thinking, untouched by plagiarism is still a very noble and respected aspect. If the mind is set free and imagination flies leaps and bounds then free ideas are generated as an outcome of this activity.
Free thinking needs to be cultivated in the tender minds right from the beginning of child education. This might result in more inventions and breakthroughs which would be beneficial to the mankind. Duplicating an existing idea, refurbishing and presenting it in some other format are considered not only wastage of time and energy but also being dishonest to oneself, in order to have monitory benefits, which evaporates sooner or later. However if the original idea, deep buried under the wealth of other information is represented with a mention of original originator, it is commendable. For example, old movies/ songs are brought in front of new generation through re-mixes/ re-makes, in order to increase the viewing spectrum and wide dissemination of information, is considered valuable step forward, provided the originality is maintained. Otherwise the essence of hidden knowledge will be lost in heaps and piles.
Chapter 16
Magic words – Sorry and Thank you
Gratitude and apology are emotional yardsticks of human character. We must not strip them of sincerity, says Harsh Kabra.
THANK YOU and sorry are perhaps the first words we learn. And they stay with us right through our lives as yardsticks of our civility. But when was the last time we said “thank you” or “sorry” without meaning to simply offload our burden of obligation or guilt? Indeed, these words no longer express what they are supposed to. Instead, they are used flippantly, thrown around without care, often reduced to an easy way of getting off the hook and evading meaningful action. They may well be the most used words in times of political correctness. But they are clearly the most abused as well. The emotions of gratitude and apology are vital to the chain of human reciprocity. But in stripping them of sincerity, we also seem to be closing the doors on their benefits for us.
In almost all religious traditions, gratitude is a manifestation of virtuous character. “Gratitude, as it were, is the moral memory of mankind,” wrote sociologist Georg Simmel. Scottish philosopher Thomas Brown defined gratitude as “that delightful emotion of love to him who has conferred kindness on us, the very feeling of which is itself no small part of the benefit conferred”. German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote: “In ordinary life, we hardly realise that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.”
The quality of being thankful implies the disposition to turn goodwill into action and the inclination to return kindness. A “thank you” denotes the attitude of positive acceptance, a determination to employ the kindness or blessing imaginatively and inventively. It connotes the humility of considering oneself the recipient of undeserved merit. “He who receives a benefit with gratitude repays the first installment on his debt,” observed Roman statesman Lucius Annaeus Seneca.
Gratitude comes endowed with the power to help us create the life we want and can be therapeutic. Gratefulness emanates from looking at what someone or something has done for us. It is, therefore, about positivity of outlook, which, in turn, generates optimism and energy. Conversely, the lack of gratefulness breeds negativity and despair. In fact, proponents of positive psychology, a recent branch of psychology that studies the strengths and virtues enabling individuals and communities to thrive, consider gratitude to be a pleasant emotional state like happiness, joy, love, curiosity and hope.
The lack of gratefulness is largely because we take things for granted, brashly presuming that they are either our rightful due or are far less than what we deserve. What holds us back from being grateful is such lack of contentment and an endless craving for more. Often, we insist on waiting for the results of an action or a blessing to show up before expressing gratitude. This indicates a dearth of trust and faith, which pays us back in our own coin.
In a way, gratitude helps us realise the benefits of mindful meditation, which is all about acknowledging and feeling connected with every breath and blessing of life. Invariably, a life with gratefulness as its pivot is also a solution to the ills spawned by insatiable human yearnings.
We might wonder where the need for gratitude is if we pay for goods and services in money. Gratitude doesn’t even fetch us discounts. In fact, there is a subtle line of distinction between gratitude and ingratiation. So much so that when someone thanks us too many times, we start doubting his intention. However, as philosopher Adam Smith averred, gratitude is a vital civic virtue, essential for the healthy functioning of societies. He called gratitude a part of the moral capital required for human societies to flourish.
The act of offering and accepting an apology is as profound and healing a human interaction as that of expressing gratitude. But while the offhand “sorry about that” keeps flying around, our ego prevents us from realising its full potential. The word loses its impact when we refrain from acknowledging our offence (“Sorry for whatever I may have done”) or throw in a self-serving conditionality (“I am sorry if you were hurt”). If the purpose of an apology is only to say, “While I don’t think I was wrong, I will apologise because you say so”, it is best not to offer one, for, the worst we can do is to insult someone’s sensitivity or intelligence by such treatment.
Bestowed with the power to effect reconciliation and mend strained relationships, an apology must involve acknowledging the offense adequately, expressing genuine remorse and offering appropriate reparations, including a commitment to make changes. “A stiff apology is a second insult,” said novelist and poet G K Chesterton. “The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.”
The rewards of an apology can only be earned, not embezzled. With everybody from convicts to public figures seeking its refuge, “sorry” is not a quick fix for things gone awry, but the starting point of restoring order. The use of this word must be backed by sincerity of intention. “Never ruin an apology with an excuse,” advises American poet Kimberly Johnson. Seldom does an apology sensitise us to the responsibility of not repeating the same mistake.
A sincere apology helps both parties achieve greater harmony: While the individual making an apology is disencumbered of guilt, shame and fear of retaliation, the one who accepts an apology heals his own humiliations and grudges, rids his mind of the painful preoccupations of revenge and generates forgiveness to bring about greater peace in his own life and in the lives of others around him.
Expressing gratitude and apology without necessarily being grateful or remorseful people is an exercise in futility. Shallow expressions of gratitude and apology are not emotionally evocative and end up producing the contrary result. Often, they are so disengaged and superficial that they fail to motivate altruistic action and positivity. What matter most here is honesty, generosity, humility, commitment; courage and sacrifice, for these qualities define our true dignity.
Life changes from one moment to another, as do our struggles. But if we concentrate on the never-changing, rock-solid centre within our life, we can overcome anything and everything, says SWAMI CHAITANYA KEERTI.
We live in an ever-changing world. But there are very few people who understand this change as the nature of the world and flow with it. Most of us try to swim upstream and turn life into a struggle. Those who know that change is inevitable also know that change always occurs on the circumference while within it is a never-changing centre.
The art of meditation is to find a centre within one’s being. Just an hour of such relaxation can rejuvenate and unleash immense creativity in us. Those who meditate know this secret.
Osho tells us: “Please be re-established in your centre, be aware of the centre, which is unmoving, and allow the whole existence to move. It’s not a disturbance at all. It becomes a disturbance only if you cling to it. Then you are falling into absurdities, foolish efforts. They will not succeed—you will be a failure...
...Know well that life is a change, but somewhere within this change there is an unmoving centre also. Just become aware of it. That awareness is enough to liberate you. That very feeling that ‘I am unmoving’ liberates. That is the truth!”
Osho talks about a significant incident in the life of Alexander The Great who was returning to
And so, Alexander asked his soldiers to go in search of a sage. The soldiers asked an old man who said, “Yes, yes, there is a great sage. But it will be difficult to persuade him to go to
The soldiers retorted, “Don’t you be worried about that. We can force anyone. Just tell us where he is?”
So the soldiers reached Dandami, a sage who was standing naked at the riverbank and said, “Alexander orders that you’ve to come with us. Every care will be taken, there will be no inconvenience, and you will be a royal guest. But you have to come with us to
The sage laughed and said, “No force in this world can force me to follow. You won’t understand, so it’s better that you bring Alexander to me.” Hearing this, Alexander felt insulted but still wanted to see the sage. He came with a sword and roared, “If you say no, then you’ll lose your life. I will cut your head.”
The sage again laughed and said, “You’re a little late. You cannot kill me now because I have killed myself already. You can cut my head but you cannot cut me. So when this head falls down on earth, you will see it falling down and I will also see it falling down. But you cannot cut me; you cannot even touch me. So don’t waste time... You can cut! Raise your sword and cut my head.”
Alexander the Great couldn’t kill that man. It was impossible because it was useless. The man was so beyond death, it was impossible to kill him. You can only be killed if you cling to life. That clinging to the changing pattern makes you a mortal.
If you don’t cling, you are as you have always been—immortal. Immortality is your birthright; it has always been there. So there is no need to force the changing periphery to be static. It will go on... All that you need to know is that you aren’t the wheel. You are only the axis!
WORDS OF WISDOM
“Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life.” — The Buddha
“One of the most difficult things is not to change society but to change yourself.” —Nelson Mandela, anti-apartheid activist
Chapter 17
Power of silence
Meditation teaches silence, which is one of the greatest assets of human nature, says Sunita Menon.
TRAVELING the world as a flight attendant, leading a glamorous, and what one would typically call a good life, I was oblivious to the world outside. But my life changed the day I met my mentor in
I believe the change within me took place only because I was open to life’s adventures, given my unconventional personality. I say unconventional because I do not fit into any set moulds of society, be it in thoughts, speech or actions.
The key to a healthy and fulfilling life is striking a balance between the material and spiritual aspects of one's being. Both are intertwined and one enhances the other. At the same time, practising detachment is also essential to evolve as a human being.
Human nature is such that we cling on to things and people, which sometimes complicates our lives and is detrimental to our growth. Letting go is liberating and gives one the freedom to experience life’s wonderful adventures. One has to be open minded to lead an enriched life.
The inner child within us should be kept alive as it is playful, full of joie de vivre and helps us look at life from a fresh perspective. I’m big on meditation. People often confuse meditation with religion. Meditation teaches you to exercise silence, which is one of the greatest assets of human nature. When one goes inward, we reach a state of stillness with one’s self.
I believe in peace. You cannot reach God through aggression or contrived efforts, which I see a lot around me. Understanding God is a very gentle process, it’s much like understanding one’s own self. Love what you do, be meditative while you are doing whatsoever it is. In order to discover the unknown, one should have the willingness to let go of the known. Now is always the time, you just need to gather courage to discover your authentic being.
You say it best when you say
nothing at all. Silence can help you communicate, heal and often even tease you into spilling your secrets, says Vinita Dawra Nangia
WHAT disappears the moment you name it? This was the poser on a TV serial the other day. The answer was provided after the duration of a commercial break and a dribbling emotional screen moment. The one thing that disappears the moment you name it is silence.
From here the serial went on to extol the subtle virtues of silence as a communication tool — the language of silence and how you can gauge even the desires of your beloved through silence. “What is the sweetness in the thing which is expressed? The charm lies in understanding what the language of eyes” are some dialogues by characters ranging from grandmother to lover to wife.
While this may make a lot of sense to Indians, Westerners would find the eulogy to silence extremely odd. In fact, Asians consider silence not just an effective means of communication but also a sign of respect for elders and seniors. Interestingly, silence is construed as rude by Americans. According to a study by the
We are taught the virtue of silence early in life, when the only acceptable way of responding to an upbraiding from parents is silence and downcast eyes. Anything more is met with wringing of hands, complaints and tears. So you learn to resort to silence. A deeply meditative silence can be very healing too. Art, literature, movies, songs have all paid tribute to the power of silence.
Have you tried to sit in complete silence ever, in a place where no sound permeates except perhaps the soothing sounds of Nature? Try it. It can be deeply relaxing and healing. Mahatma Gandhi would resort to a day of silence every week when he would communicate only by scribbling notes.
How interesting. Silence to some is golden; to others, an anathema. To some, an irritant, to others a channel of free flowing peace. To one person it indicates respect, to another, rudeness. It can indicate a deep interest as well as deep anger. It may represent empathy or merely be an indication of contemplation. It may be inspired by awe or horror, hostility or disagreement. But seldom is it indicative of indifference.
And then they say silence cannot be a means of communication? Indeed the use of silence and how we manage it in conversation depends on how intelligent we are as communicators. Those who are great communicators are comfortable with silence and adept at using it in many ways to reach their desired goal. Silence doesn’t unnerve them, nor overwhelms them. They do not get put off by a silent communicator; rather they try to unravel the meaning of that silence. Their use of silence is an important indicator of their emotional intelligence. They can use silence to their benefit and regulate its use. In their hands, silence becomes an excellent form of communication.
A senior colleague uses silence as a very efficient tool of communication. He can convey the slightest shift of mood and emotion through his silence. When a bristly quality invades the air, you know that you have said something that irritated him. Something shifts without anything having been said, and you know it’s time to change the topic or that your time is up. Then he conveys a listening quality with his silence and you fall neatly into the trap and blabber out everything you had schooled yourself not to say in his presence.
This is the “spilling effect” of silence. It can be used as a powerful pressurising tool that is often used by interviewers or those smart enough to understand it. There’s this palpable silence when the interviewer will not say a word and anyone not used to silence, will rush forth to fill it up with words! And more often than not, words they never meant to utter in the first place! Rather than becoming ready victims of the masters of silent communication, wouldn’t it be great to master the art of silent communication ourselves? Learn to wield for our benefit a well-thought out and premeditated silence that is palpable and by itself becomes a great communication tool!
Chapter 18
Hello Therapy
Miracle of Hello
During dusk, everyday, a newspaper delivery man, while throwing newspaper at the doorsteps of several houses in a locality in
The delivery man, daily without fail, uses to wave his hand as a mark of respect, in anticipation of same response from that rich man. But the cold response greets him everyday from the stranger.
Undeterred by the indifferent response from the rich stranger, the enthusiasm and zeal of the delivery man had never allowed his habitual gesture to succumb to non-responsive attitude of the rich stranger.
One fine day the delivery man hand waving was greeted with a nod of head from the stranger, who appeared to be recognizing the existence of the delivery man.
Days passed by and the nod of head has transformed into exchange of hello. Now the situation became such that the stranger friend started greeting the delivery man without waiting for a hello to come first from the delivery man.
Few months later, amidst the outbreak of World War II, all the Jews residing in
All the prisoners held captive in one of the remote German dominated locality were lined up with hands tied and eyes wide open to witness the disaster. The firing squad was waiting for the final order from the German Army Commander.
And then something happened which has astonished everyone present at the scene. All, except one prisoner were brutally shot dead by the firing squad on receipt of confirmatory orders from the Army Commander, who was the same rich and affluent stranger and the pardoned prisoner was the delivery man, his same hello friend. Miracle of hello has saved a precious life. The unarmed generous hello can transform bitter enemies into everlasting true friends.
Narendra Nair, rightfully brought out the power of Hello therapy in his following narration.
RICHARD often felt out-of-sorts, wanting to be left alone. Querulous-ness alternated with an urge to inflict violence. He visited an allopath, who threw out vague suspicions and ordered a battery of tests. All were normal. Other organs were tested and found normal, including that universal refuge of confused doctors, the brain.
A friend scoffed, allo-shallow-pathy is bunk, and took Richard to a homeopath. The homeopath was a cadaveric individual who looked even more depressed than Richard and asked in a mournful, this-hurts-me-more-than-it-does-you kind of tone; highly personal questions that made him squirm. He asked about his aversions and his likes and how much coffee he drank. His reply that he couldn’t live without coffee threw the homeopath off balance. He quickly scribbled something incomprehensible. A week later he felt no different. Another friend introduced him to a naturopath. This guy made a frontal attack on his lifestyle and eating preferences. He made hostile comments about meat eating, alcohol and smoking and prescribed raw plants and bitter fruit. He cancelled ice cream, fries, pizzas, mutton and chicken. The patient quickly left, stopping rebelliously at a wayside stall to have mouthwatering fast-food. He then looked in at McDonald’s for a large order of fries and cola.
Richard walked into a park and sat down on a bench next to an old man reading FUN magazine. The old man looked up, smiled and said, “Hello, how are you?” So engaging were the smile and the greeting that old man warmed to Richard that made him promptly smiled back and returned the greeting. Richard offered fries and suddenly found himself talking about the magazine, about college, about himself, about his family and about his peculiar moods. The old man listened with great interest, undistracted and attentive. Finally, he said, “I don’t know if this will help you, but try saying “hello” to everyone you meet. Give them a smile. Strangers, especially women are suspicious and often won’t reciprocate. Might look right through you; don’t worry. Don’t let it stop you from saying hello and smiling. The mantra is ‘People matter. Be happy. Communicate happiness to those around you’.” Richard got it. Creating and extending warmth was the key. Bringing sunshine into someone’s life would consequently illuminate your own.
The domain of “The Happiness Umbrella” is unlimited and unimaginable. Get drenched in the rain of happiness and try to make others also feel happy and contented. The more you spread happiness, the more happiness gets credited into your life.
Chapter 19
Bounce back attitude
“Does anyone in your relations is having Thalassemia?” Pediatrician bounced a bombshell on already depleted and frustrated parents of a severely pallor yet cute, graceful little girl of four months age. It appeared as if fortune has removed the entire redness of blood from her body and left her as a dull white doll, in the arms of her father, anxiously staring at people around her in order to attract attention and asking an innocent question from her big colourless, smiling and inquisitive eyes. “What is wrong with you all? I am fine. Just look at me.”
“Yes, I have heard about Thalassemia long time back, before marriage, from my sister, who is presently settled seven seas away from us, during her mandatory routine health checkup.” Girl’s mother broke the nauseating silence, created as an aftermath of bombshell, dropped by pediatrician.
After responding, mother and father of the little child, caring and lovingly glanced through each other, throwing volley of questions through eyes and anticipating some reply to kill the anxiety and expectancy, caused by the statement, mother made to pediatrician.
“I am recommending few medical examinations for ascertaining the cause of her bloodless outlook.” Pediatrician handed over a series of medical tests list to the father, who was already burdened by the lingering misfortune, looming stubbornly over the head and refuse to fade away.
In the grip of uncertainty and expectancy, the parents holding the child in the arms, wrapped with true fatherly love and motherly care, walked out of the office of pediatrician and headed towards the medical centre, a place where the destiny of the child will be uncovered.
And the test reports mercilessly flashed as a blatant truth; harsh, volcanic and thunderous. The word “Thalassemia” which appeared to be alien and unfamiliar till date has entered as an uninvited wild guest into the dreamy vocabulary of the grief stricken happy family.
The pediatrician murmured the already bare open judgment of Almighty, wearing an emotionless and undeterred attire of dangerously calm facial expressions. The time stopped ticking, the wind stopped moving and parents missed their heartbeat at every uttered word, resonating and engraving deep in the hearts. Only the lips of pediatrician were moving and attracting the fascination of the little girl, applauding at every uttered sentence, endorsing her destiny and indicating that I will rewrite my destiny. God is my friend.
The radiance on the child face is so vibrant and full of energy that parents go drenched into it and became thoughtless and speechless. After all, a doctor is also a human being and the evident yet anticipated verdicts at that point of time can be camouflaged by miracle and wonders termed as unexplained act of Almighty God.
Joel Osteen, senior pastor at
When you're a bounce-back person, you know that adversity is not permanent. Weeping may endure for a night, but you know joy is coming in the morning. There is wonderful joy ahead on the other side of this trial. Keep standing, keep believing, and choose to be a bounce-back person because you are coming out better off than you were before! You are rising higher, and you will fulfill the destiny God has in store for you!
A bounce-back person sees adversity and every setback not as permanent, but temporary. It's not going to last forever. Every difficulty that comes your way, you can be encouraged by it, knowing that you're going to come out better than you were before. Why is that? Because it is in our DNA. God created us and intends us to walk in the same power which raised Christ from the dead that same overcoming power and attitude that even the grave can't keep down. Studies prove that during a hurricane, a palm tree will simply stretch and not break from the strong winds. It's bent and pushed over, and all the while, its root system is actually being strengthened and given new opportunities for growth. That is the same way we were built to be. It even says in Psalm 92:12, "The righteous will flourish like a palm tree." That means God knew there would be difficult times in our lives, that things would come against us, trying to steal our joy, peace and victory. He's not surprised by our difficulties, but rather knew ahead of time and equipped us with everything we need in Him! Because we have strong roots, we are going bounce right back. The storms in life will come. The winds will blow. But no weapon formed against us will prosper!
The Turtles
A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. the turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!
For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.
Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich.
At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, "See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt."
[Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.]
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The Frogs
A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, "There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!" So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.
The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, "Well... where are all the frogs?" The farmer said, "I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!"
[ Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.]
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The Pretty Lady
Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. "How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?" thought the little monk. But he kept quiet. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her.
All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of acussations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. "How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite
The big monk looked surprised and said, "I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?"
[This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous .. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away.We keep on carrying the baggage of the "pretty lady" with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony.Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the "pretty lady". We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river, that is after the unpleasant event is over.This will immediately remove all our agonies.There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.]
END COVER PAGE
It may be difficult to deal with defeat, but the regret of a drowned dream is quickly overtaken by the compulsions of survival. Both the Happiness and the Contentment now face an existential dilemma in this modern busy world, and will require honesty to pare away that part of the dogma that has checked the growth of one and undermined the success of the other.
“The Happiness Umbrella” has achieved the designated goal if it brings a smile on reader’s face. No book is considered complete if it fails to create interest amongst the reader, irrespective of the age group. The bouquet of happiness enumerated in this book promotes free thinking and sustainable originality. This book is a concept designer, based on the creativity and thought provoking ideas to fabricate a happy winner from commons. Happiness is dimensionless entity which requires unlimited domain to define its true existence. Superficial transformation of happiness is similar to a blind staring a beautiful object without appreciating its charisma.
The vision of this book is a structured, real life concept appropriate for all age group across the globe. However, wide spectrum of free thinking concepts may be considered apt for sensible and levelheaded.
